Silamat Ali Layerrr

For the past couple of years aku mcm tak suka text org wish hari raya. Rasa mcm typical. Kalau ada pun just reply wishes orang out of courtesy.

Tapi tahun ni, tah kenapa, mungkin sbb taktau nak buat apa masa khutbah raya (ok sangat berdosa buat ayat ni, tapi aku rasa khutbah raya di masjid aku agak political, so not totally my fault ok), aku sms semua org dalam phone book. At least korang tau aku masih ada nombor korang kan?

Hehehe.

Minal a'idin wal faizin.

For what it's worth...

Have you ever encountered moments in life when you'd stop and think "is it worth it?". Over apa2lah, be it what you did or what you saw other people did. I'm sure you had.

Coz I had one recently. I was at a jualan amal that my Yayasan Salam friends did to raise fun for charity event we're gonna have at 2 orphanage homes during fasting month...

We were closing the stall for the day, most of us busy packing up the stuffs, and one guy was counting the "proceeds" for the day, in the end he said out loud "seratus empat puluh tujuh ringgit" and everybody cheered...

I paused for a while and thought to myself "really? with all these time and with all these volunteers for this amount of money?" well, it was kinda expected when you sell everything at just 1 ringgit, but still... and that's when the multimillion dollar question "is it worth it?" strikes.

It's not long before I got the answer. I was driving home when I think I found it.

You see, the seratus-empat-puluh-tujuh-ringgit is not the end for all these effort and time that these group of people put together.

It is only a material, explicit reason that brought all these together. But it's not the real cause. There's far greater good that was created from all the efforts and time the volunteers sacrificed, much more that the mere ratusan ringgit...

And that, my friend, is the inner self enrichment that is created when you do something good with no expected return. It is a selfless deed that you do thinking just to help someone else out there, knowing for sure that you ain't gonna get anything in return, or at least materially.

It is a satisfaction that you cannot get with money. You know, like when you let one car from the other side of the road to cross in front of you to get to this side of a turning when the traffic is really bad.

Or, like when you help a total stranger by the roadside who is asking for money, and you know full well that the stranger could just be a part of a complicated syndicate trying to syphone money off hardworking blue-colar workers like us, but truth is, that stranger could as well be a genuine unfortunate human-being undergoing difficult moment in his/her life. But you helped anyway. And you feel good afterwards.

Those examples that I used would of course do very little justice to what my friends did. But it's just an easy metaphor.

You see, when you put together a bunch of people who are so looking forward to do selfless, good things, the eagerness and spirit sort of multiplies. Because you are with friends. And I proudly say that it is these kind of people who would ensure that us Malaysians do not turn into our southern neighbours, who are so obsessed with material achievements in life that they disregard societal value and the need to care about others, and thus in turn the need to care about their inner self. And what does it mean in the end - nothing. It creates a feel of nothingness in life.

I am so proud of my friends...

......s

Funny to think how things could turn totally in a way that you can never expect it to be. Or people. Whatever. But then again, who am I to judge?

Sometimes you'd think, why did that thing that happened, happen?

I can choose to continue torturing myself by thinking of it over and over, trying to find an explanation. Trying to justify.

But I can also choose to let it go.

I do hope that I can let it go. Forever.

It just hurts so much when sometimes it came flashing back to mind slicing through like a poisonous wound. And I know it will. These things won't just go away like that. Even how much you want them to go away. They just don't.

I just want to forget the misery, go to sleep, and wake up to brighter days ahead.

Tunggu...

Dah lama gile tak hapdet blog ni. Mcm best jugak hidupkan balik.

Sekarang aku sedang menunggu. Menunggu email dari seseorang dengan penuh sabar. Harap2nya respond dia seperti yang dihajati.

Tak sabar nak mulakan suasana baru.

Tapi aku mesti akan rindukan si dia....


Aku pasti kembali.